i like what i'm herring

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

why home alone 1 & 2 are the best christmas movies

In my opinion..

HOME ALONE 1 & 2 are THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES EVER!

Why?

1. THOUSANDS OF HILARIOUS QUOTES THAT ARE ACCEPTABLE TO USE IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATION!

Such as:

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!

Well, 'tis the season nowadays. Why wouldn't you say this? I also find it hilarious to add "filthy animal" to any everyday, mundane saying. Such as: happy birthday, ya filthy animal! Take out the trash, ya filthy animal! Of course I want a dozen wings, ya filthy animal!

Buzz, your girlfriend! WOOF!

Ok, maybe I don't usually say this whole phrase a lot, but I probably say WOOF at least a dozen times a day. Dog got into the trash? Woof. Bit into an oatmeal raisin cookie thinking it was chocolate chip? Woof. Christmas shopping at the Summit? DOUBLE WOOF.

Look whatcha did, ya little jerk!
Uncle Frank has tons of hilarious quotes, but this has to be the best. This works well when someone does something on accident.. like spilling a drink. I like to yell in capslock to the entire room: LOOK WHATCHA DID, YA LITTLE JERK!

This is Peter McAllister, the faaaaather. I'd like a hotel room please. With an extra large bed, a TV, and one of those little refrigerators you have to open with a key. Credit card? You got it!

You have GOT to say this in the slo-mo Talkboy voice. HILARIOUS. Whenever I order anything online, I find myself saying "credit card? you got it!" when I check out. I really wanted to check into the hotel that we lived in for a month last year with this exact phrase..

WE SLEPT IN!

My family gives the McAllister family a run for their money in the dramatic airport arrivals and plane boarding skills. We are late almost everytime and have been known to sprint through the terminal. Of course when we are trying to get out the door, we like to scream WE SLEPT IN! no matter what time of day it is while we frantically throw our suitcases into the car.

Kevin! You are such a disease! and Kevin, you're what the French call lesse compe tau!

I am not EVEN going to pretend I know how to spell out that French saying. I lobbed these two together, because you can say them in the same setting, or together if you prefer. I substitute "Binky" sometimes when she's being a disease. These are also fun if you meet someone named Kevin. I happened to meet a bartender one night with this lovely name, and he was THRILLED with me saying these quotes to him!

(well there's the correct spelling)

WOW! What a hole!

Marv says this after he falls through a hole on HA2. Just the way he says it is HILARIOUS! This works well when there's a big pot hole in the road.. or you're at the Grand Canyon. It's also equally as funny if you rhyme it with something else like: Wow! What a mole! when your doggie brings you a small rodent gift, or Wow! What a roll! when you're at dinner.

Is this toothbrush recommended by the American Dental Association?

Kevin says this in Home Alone 1 when he leaves the house and goes to the store. He ends up stealing it because the scary old man comes in, and he runs out terrified, taking the toothbrush with him. It's so funny to me for some reason. What 9 year old asks that?!? I LOVE to say this whenever there is a new toothbrush lying around. And it happens more often than you think, because my roomie's dad is a dentist.

I knew it was you! I could smell ya gettin' off the elevator!

This one is a real crowd pleaser. When someone comes in the door and yells something like: heyyy it's just me! I like to capslock back: I KNEW IT WAS YOU! I COULD SMELL YA GETTIN OFF THE ELEVATOR! This one was especially fun to say when we lived in the hotel, because we physically had to get off the elevator to get to the room.

That was the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs!

Ok, this one you can't really use in everyday conversation, but the scene is too hilarious not to include it.

There are TONS more. I actually deleted a few. I also typed all of these by heart. I swear. Obsessed? Or just a good memory? You decide.

2. The most hilarious villians of all time: Harry and Marv.

Marv has the best man scream I've ever heard.

Harry "cusses" hilariously. Since these movies are for the kiddos, he never actually cusses, but his ramblings are too funny.

3. A sprinkling of the best Christmas songs.

A. Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.

Don't tell me you don't think of the cardboard cut out Michael Jordan riding a toy train around the Christmas tree while Kevin is trying to make the house seem full of people.. just don't. I know you do.

B. White Christmas.

Uhhh, duh. Kevin putting on aftershave and doing his classic scream in the mirror.

C. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

HA2 when the hotel finds out Kevin's credit card is stolen.

4. The awesome plans of attack.

Who didn't want to be the kid who set up these amazing battle plans?! It was awesome! Blow torch to the head? Yep! Iron to the face? Got it! Paint cans thrown down the stairs? Amazing!
I COULD GO ON FOREVER, BABY!
(see what I did there?)

(it's another movie quote, in case you didn't know..)

5. John Williams was the composer of the main song throughout the film.

Do you know who John Williams is? Oh, just the musical genius behind Jurassic Park, the Olympics, the first three Harry Potter movies, Star Wars, and Hook, just to name a few.

6. Lots of funny little scenes that you might not remember.

At the end of the second movie, when they wake up on Christmas morning, Fuller is the only one in the king size bed, because we all know Fuller wets the bed.

When Kevin is going through Buzz's private stuff, he says "no clothes on anybody! sickening!" when he's looking through a Playboy. SO FUNNY!

When Kevin is walking home in the first movie, and he walks in front of the van with Marv and Harry in it, and he SCREAMS and just freezes in front of the moving vehicle. I'm laughing out loud while writing this as I picture this in my head:

And then there's this little gem:

OK I'VE GOT TO STOP! Y'all probably think I'm nuts for writing all this, but I seriously cannot get enough of these movies!!! And I KNOW after reading the first few quotes, I already had you convinced that these are the best Christmas movies ever.

While I was gathering pictures for this post, I found this AWESOMENESS!

http://fuckyeahhomealone.tumblr.com/

IT. IS. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!

For some reason Home Alone 2 has been on a billion times this holiday season, and I haven't caught Home Alone 1 on tv AT ALL!

Hey, ABC family, look what ya did, ya little jerks!

Monday, December 19, 2011

painted rug!

I gots a rug, y'all!

I bought it at Southeastern Salvage for TWENTY BUCKS!!!!! It was yellow, 5" x 8", and a good pile to paint.

Yes, paint. You can paint rugs! They just need to be low pile. I'll be sure to do a post featuring some of the lovely beauties floating out there in the blogosphere.

Here she is! Much brighter than the fug rug. I bought this baby over a month ago, mind you. It looks pretty good next to the gold framed mirror!

Here it is rolled out in the den. Note the dirty spots.. no wonder it was only $20. I wanted to paint a pattern on there, so I knew it would be covered up enough not to be visible. I decided to go with a hexagon pattern.

To start, I used my T-square from school to help keep a straight line. I started from the center.

Then I measured between the end and the center. Rather, a fourth of the way from the end.

I did the same from the other side.

Then I placed two strips of tape between each of those four sections, measuring them evenly.

And continued on the other side.

Then I found the center of the middle piece of tape, and stabbed a hole in it with my triangle. I wanted the angled lines to be centered around the middle of the rug.

I've used my 45 degree triangle on a ton of projects before, but I broke out the ol' 30-60-90 triangle for this puppy. Why? Hexagons have 6 angles, all equaling 60 degrees. HOW CONVENIENT!

I placed the triangle next to the dot in the center.

Then I folded a piece of tape in half and put it on one side of the hole.

Then I put a whole piece of tape over that and covered the hole. Why? I didn't want the pattern to be one inch over from the center.

Then I took my T square and laid it on top of the triangle to continue the angle and stuck the tape along side it.

Then I flipped it and continued the tape going the other direction.

I did the same thing for the diagonal going in the other direction.

And pulled the tape to the corners.

Phew! Not even close to being finished!

I used my "tools" to determine the shape of the hexagon. It was going to be way too big for my liking. Can you see the sides of it with the T square, tape measure, pencil, and triangle?

So what to do? Lay more horizontal lines down, of course! I don't think I even measured here, I just eyeballed it.

Time for the diagonals!

Of course I ran out of tape.

I got some more tape the next day! I finished the diagonals one way.

Then I laid the tape going the other direction. This is where I made an unfortunate mistake. See how all the yellow bits showing through are different sizes and shapes? Not good.

I didn't notice at first. It was quite late at night, so I began carving out the tape. I used an exacto knife. So long as I barely cut the tape, it didn't cut the carpet fibers.

"Don't start cutting!" Diesel says.

Too late!!!!! The first hexagon looked nice though!

"Oh nos, I can't watch."

They started getting all caddy wompus shaped..

So I put the tape back down. I also had to pull up nearly all of the diagonal pieces (the last set put down going the same direction).

When I laid the second set of diagonals, I failed to cross over the point where the horizontal and first set of diagonal tape intersected. Does that make sense???

Of course I ran out of tape again and had to use some leftover from a past paint project. See how the yellow bits are now mostly the same size (minus the middle right there where I still needed to add a few pieces)??

Time to cut again! The shapes looked so much better this go around.

They aren't exactly the same size, but that was fine with me. Cotton was fine with it too.

So much tape!!!!!!

Beauti-mous!!!!!

Time to paint! I brought it to the carport, just in case it bled through the back.

I used my sponge brush to dab it onto the rug. I used my leftover white paint from the staircase project.

And this was as far as I got for a loooooong time. It rained for about 4 days straight in Bham. Then I went to Auburn a couple weekends, then Thanksgiving travels, THEN I found the FUG RUG (woof), and didn't even give this rug a second thought.

Until this past weekend! I brought the ol' gal out to the driveway and continued painting her.

It took forever to dry. I finished around 4pm, and it was still wet around 1am when I went outside to check it.

I brought it to the yard the next day, and....

spray painted it. Imagine that. Can I get through one project without spray painting?!?

It needed one more coat, and I didn't want to take 2 hours dabbing paint back on it, so I used some flat white spray paint to go over each shape.

I was too excited to take tape removal pics! Here she is inside!!!!

With the stools! Not too shabby, eh?? Not the brightest either, but for twenty bucks and leftover paint, I can't complain!

EEEEEE!!

A lot of the bloggies I read said to sand the painted areas very lightly to loosen up the fibers (supposedly it doesn't remove much of the paint). I didn't do that (the step skipper strikes again). It doesn't feel that bad though! It's a wee bit stiff, but I'm hoping that will loosen up over time. And you're just suppose to vacuum like normal. I'll update everyone on the condition of everything in a few weeks!

I lubs it!

Updated pictures from my new camera!